Making Babies: Part 2 – Writing a List

If I took nothing else from The Gilmore Girls – aside from a love of Bop It and a burning desire to build a straw bale maze in our garden – I truly learnt to trust in the power of the pros and cons list.

That said, I’m pretty fond of all lists. Appointments to make, meals for the week, things to renovate, plants to feed, which doors to WD40, books to download, ingredients for the meals for the week, ingredients for the cake I’ve been drooling about, things to remember to write on the calendar, future lists to write, things I’m no longer allowed to write lists for because I already wrote a list and then I lost it and there’s nothing that infuriates the beloved more than a lost list floating around potentially cluttering up her clutter.

But what if you don’t know what you want to eat on Thursday? Or whether you Really Need a teensy weensy six layer lemon buttercream cake? Or if you want to pick a fight with your beloved and their clutter? Or if you’re ready to have a teensy weensy baby?

So, The Great Pros and Cons of Having a Baby Soon (back in 2007) List

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Pros

A baby! A baby! *

*Abandon list for some hours too coo about general loveliness of new babies. I shan’t relive the details. Plainly it was early enough in our careers that the sheer joy of new life hadn’t been stomped out of us.

We’re both midwives, so we will be really good at looking after a baby. For a week.

From the beloved (with crazy-eyed laugh) ‘so I can have complete power and control over manipulating and moulding  another human being. Mwahahahahahaha!’**

**Revisiting this memory, the beloved is rocking in a corner, making little squeaking sounds.

Having the first grandchild. I’m an only child. I like to win.

Maternity leave! (who doesn’t love a holiday?)

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Funny how I don’t recall thinking, back in the heady days of 2007, ‘none of these things have anything to do with day to day life with a real baby’. Never mind, on to the

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Cons

Could be tricky, with the no sperm and all.

After the first week? What the hell happens then? 

Might take a long time. Possibly won’t happen this Friday. Really I prefer list items that can be crossed off promptly. Sometimes I write a list of things I’ve already done, just so I can cross them off.

Money – every which way I looked were news items detailing the Hundreds Of Thousands of Dollars it costs to educate children. Educating them? We hadn’t even conceived, fed or clothed it/them yet! Bartenders earn more than junior midwives. This is clearly a crap idea. Our children will be uneducated hicks. 

We might have to deal with awkward conversations that start with ‘but who is the ‘real’ mother?

We would actually have children. 

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Sometimes a pros and cons list works in mysterious ways.

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