Making Babies – Part 4: Making Titch

2008 JUNE Lots to organise! Lists to write! Things to cross off lists! Flights to book. Accommodation to organise. Appointments to coordinate. Oooh, going interstate…this could be fun! We might get to go a few times! It would almost be sad if I got pregnant straight away. It’s always so warm in Brisbane. Maybe we … Continue reading

Not all my fault

Incredible news: Pearl, Gretel and Bertha have clocked up one month of Staying Alive at our place! Miraculous, I know, given how heavily the odds are stacked against them. However, tonight’s conversation with the beloved did make wonder if I could, perhaps, let go of a little of the great burden of pet deaths past…… … Continue reading

Mother of the Year: It’s on, bitches!

Obviously, our parenting goals are lofty. We want to raise pleasant, sociable, sensible, speshul (shush, it’s a word now) little geniuses who will go on to achieve great things, including but not limited to: moving out of home by age twenty; being able to correctly spell their facebook status updates; knowing exactly what colour mould … Continue reading

Not always crap

Most days I spend wondering what kind of unstable, delinquent pyromaniacs our parenting is producing (oh yes, Boofer, don’t think I haven’t seen that look in your eye as you sit, bewitched, by the fireplace). Days of trying to anticipate the mercurial feelings of a pair of kids who can drop their tiny bundles over … Continue reading

Fire Fighting

A brief history of arguing with the beloved about fire: 2005 Scene: Winter, a remote farmhouse, in front of a roaring log fire me – (feeling sparkly eyed, romantic and perhaps a little drunk on Malibu Chills, snuggling into the beloved) Isn’t this lovely? the beloved – (shifting uncomfortably) Um. I think I might just … Continue reading

Making Babies: Part 3 – Shopping for Sperm

The slightly abridged version of choosing our kids’ other genetic material, with bonus FAQ: These are all questions that people have asked me about our family. About 95% of the time, they make ‘cancer’ face* while they ask it. *”Cancer’ face’: the face maker tilts their head approximately 40 degrees to one side, furrows their … Continue reading

Flying Fish

8:40am on the day before pre-school goes back for second term. I’m in the kitchen feeding the cat. The beloved is wrangling Boofer into her third set of clothes for the day. Titch is thoughtfully unloading the recycling onto the pantry floor. The phone rings. – Hello, me speaking! – Sccchhhhhhhrooooooo wwwwwss aawwwwn from the … Continue reading

Short Change

Working back to back late and early shifts. I should be filled with the joy of ushering new life into the world. Instead I’m mostly sad that I will never, never be this cool: Even though I. too, read so hard. Would it be wrong to train Titch to rap to this?